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My lovely webdesigner is going to redesign my site in the new year.  I invite you to send me a link to your website if you would like exposure on my site.  I have a links page and I will gladly add you to that links page.  I am looking for anyone related to adoption, infertility, babies, children, fostering, social workers etc…If you think your site will interest people on my site, just send me your info and I’ll create a link for you. terri@thegreatestgift.co.za

The first of many disappointments

Posted by Terri Lailvaux on December 11, 2010
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Category : Adoption
At the next appointment with the fertility specialist, we were given all the options. It was really quite daunting as we had absolutely no idea what to do. The doctor recommended starting with Artificial Insemination (AI). This is the lease invasive, least expensive treatment and they do get reasonable results with people like us who don’t appear to have any problems. It involves taking a course of injections to help stimulate egg growth. The injections are full of hormones and really made me feel very emotional and at times quite odd. Once the eggs are big and fat and look ready to be babies, they do the procedure. There is always a chance of multiple pregnancy with fertility treatment. The prospect of twins didn’t worry us too much but the idea of triplets boggled our heads – and not in a good way!! My husband had to deliver his sperm to the reception early in the morning. I then arrived at the clinic a little later. With a very long, thin needle, they inject the sperm straight onto the eggs. This way it doesn’t have to make the effort to swim all the way there. Also because I had been on the injections, my eggs were in perfect condition to be fertilized. After this rather painful procedure, I had to lie still for 20 mins. It’s quite odd what goes through your mind during those 20 mins. Of course, I immediately felt pregnant. I visualized all this beautiful connecting going on inside me. When it was time to leave, I got up slowly and trod carefully because I didn’t want to disturb my brand new children.
At this stage, we hadn’t told anyone about our difficulties to fall pregnant. All our friends and family assumed we were not interested in kids just yet. I walked around for the next 14 days feeling on top of the world. I felt pregnant and it was my little secret. No-one else knew that I was carrying precious cargo. After 14 days, I had to have a BHCG (Qualitative) blood test. This is an extremely accurate pregnancy test. The result came back good. I can’t remember all the numbers now but there was a chance I could be pregnant. I had to wait 3 days to have another test. If the next test had high numbers, I was preggy, if not…………..

The longest 3 days of my life followed. I counted down every minute. Finally I went for the test and waited, and waited………..the count was down. I sobbed for 3 hours. By the time my husband came home from work, he found me crumpled up on the bed and totally exhausted. I spent the whole weekend crying and wishing time away so I could start the next cycle of treatment!.

Fertility Procedures and Invasions

Posted by Terri Lailvaux on December 07, 2010
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Category : Adoption
I made an appointment to see the fertility specialist and we arrived feeling quite apprehensive. This was not a place we had ever thought we might end up and we really did not know what to expect. The specialist was wonderful. He had a gentle way of explaining all the different options – and there are many, and he seemed genuinely interested and concerned. I think we both felt quite dumb though at how little we knew about biology! There are so many things that have to happen for conception to take place. I remember that after he had finished explaining all of it to us, I wondered how it was possible that anyone ever has a baby! It is a huge biological process with so many aspects that can go wrong! The specialist decided that a laproscope was in order to get more of an idea what was going on in the factory! I went into the hospital terrified at the prospect of surgery (although a laproscope is a tiny and very standard procedure). When I came round, I was THIRSTY!! So thirsty. I had no pain. I had no interest in what the doc had found. I needed apple juice. Then I needed more apple juice. Eventually I sent my husband to the shop to buy me 2 litres of apple juice as the hospital kept bringing me silly small cups. After my thirst finally subsided, the doctor told me that he had found and removed 2 fibroid cysts and some endometriosis. I was now in perfect condition and would probably be pregnant within weeks. I went home feeling quite positive and with very sore shoulders!! (A side-effect of the surgery)
After a few months, nothing had happened so I went back to the doc to have the fallopian tubes checked. This is a very strange procedure where they pour purple dye into the tubes and watch on an x-ray machine that it runs all the way through the tubes. The doctor and the radiographer were full of jokes and although slightly painful, the procedure was quick and proved that my tubes were not blocked. In some strange way, I remember feeling disappointed. I thought if they could just find something wrong with me, they could at least look at curing it. But according to all the medical people, I was in perfect shape and should have been falling pregnant with ease. It was time to get out the drugs and play hard ball with my body!!

Time for tears and silly mood swings

Posted by Terri Lailvaux on December 07, 2010
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Category : Adoption

So…back to those nasty pills called Clomid ……The hormone boost into my body made me crazy.   I suffered terribly from hot flushes and had lots of sudden, tearful outbursts. One night, when I was driving home from work, I missed the off ramp to my house and I had to take the next one. It is only 2km further and really no hassle at all but by the time I got home, I was sobbing. Another time, our dog, Guinness, was lying on the couch with me when my husband came into the lounge. Guinness got up and moved to lie with my husband and I cried because the dog loved him more that it loved me! Luckily, Steve was not one to get easily flustered so he took all of this craziness in his stride. I was advised not to take Clomid for more than 6 months before returning to the doctor and so when that amount of time had passed, I went back to the doc. By now I was beginning to feel a little panicked and a little worried that things might not be all smooth in the future. The doc suggested a sperm test for Steve and finally I felt a bit of relief. The spotlight would be off me and on him just for a while.

He made an appointment with the lab and off he went. When he arrived, there was a hot, young, blonde student who greeted him at reception. (Perfect!!) She gave him a specimen jar and a Garden and Home magazine and sent him down the passage!!! Amazingly, he managed to do the deed and bring back a specimen! Not his favourite memory!!
The results arrived quickly. He had sperm with average mobility. Not really what a man wants to hear. I think that secretly they all want a result that says their sperm can do 400m of butterfly in 20 seconds followed swiftly by an Olympic-style medley! Anyway, after consulting the doctor, he said that “average” is quite good these days and basically means that there are no problems in that department. The doctor then announced that as I had no obvious problems and Steve had no obvious problems, there was no reason why we should not be pregnant. We are what he assured us is very commonly known as “non-specific infertile”. He wrote a referral letter to a fertility specialist and sent us on our way. 
More about all that next time………………….

How it all happened….

Posted by Terri Lailvaux on December 05, 2010
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Category : Adoption
It’s really something that never occurs to the average girl or woman.  We are so certain that one day we will grow up and have babies (those of us that want them).  It’s nature and it’s a calling.  I remember as a little girl saying things like “when I am big, I am going to have 2 children”.  And later when I was a teenager, I would say things like “when I become a parent, I will never be strict like my parents are”.  Then as a young lady in my twenties, “I will only have chilren after I turn 30.”   Note the common thread…..When I…..Not if I have children.  We all assume and we never consider the thought that it will not be possible.  So like everyone else, after a few years of marriage, my hubby and I decided it was time to expand the family.  I went off the pill and we got down to practising!  We were pretty chilled and there was no rush so for the first 6 months, we paid little attention to the fact that my period arrived each month (albeit anywhere between 17 and 46 days!!)  After about 8 months, I happened to be at the gynae for an annual check up and I mentioned that I had been off the pill for some months but had not fallen pregnant.  He did not seem too concerned and put me onto a pill that makes you ovulate properly (just in case).  He said I would almost certainly be pregnant within 4 to 6 months.  
The pills were quite hectic though.  I had hot flushes and became quite emotional…and extremely forgetful.  Oh the joy of trying to fall pregnant!!  More on this tomorrow. 

First Day of Blogging!!

Posted by Terri Lailvaux on December 05, 2010
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Category : Adoption
Hello to all of you out there!  My new friend Stuart was mortified that I am not blogging (as he thinks I have a lot to say!) so he insited I just sign up and get going.
Why?  You may well ask….I have a passion…a deep, burning passion. One that consumes me.  I need to share it with everyone!   ADOPTION!!  There are so many infertile couples out there struggling with fertility treatments and there are so many beautiful babies waiting for loving homes.  My passion is to encourage people to adopt a child.  I did and it has been the most rewarding and increadible journey!
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