I love this image!

Posted by Terri Lailvaux on March 19, 2011
Category : Adoption

This says it all….

I am back in Cape Town after 2 days in the big city of Johannesburg at the National Adoption Coalition Conference. The input was fantastic and it was so wonderful to know that all these people want to same thing ….to create families!.  Wow!  Johannesburg is big and busy….very different to little Cape Town.  The conference was amazing!  There were about 110 delegates from 5 provinces in South Africa.  The delegates included Social workers, Children’s Court magistrates, Adoption agencies, Adoptive moms, Childline, Child Welfare, Department of Social Development and more.  The input was fantastic and it was so wonderful to know that all these people want to same thing ….to create families!

More info and details to follow soon…after I have cleared the 100 emails in my inbox!  Thanks to all of you out there who are contacting me.  It is always great to hear people’s comments and questions.  Keep them coming in.  Lots more info to follow so watch this space!

On Tuesday evening, I am flying to Johannesburg to attend a 2 day for the National Adoption Coalition Conference. The great news is that finaly, the adoption world is pulling together to create a user-friendly, accurate database with members who meet minimum standards.  The idea is that government, local business and adoption professionals will join forces to make the process more streamlined and accessible.  I am very, very excited to be able to be a part of this while it is at its foundation phase.  I look forward to blogging the feedback when I get back home on Friday.

Next adoption support group discussion

Posted by Terri Lailvaux on March 08, 2011
Category : Adoption

The next adoption support group discussion will be held in Kenilworth on Sat 02 April 2011.
Time 09h30 – 12h30
This is for pre and post adoptive parents or anyone who wants to find out more about adoption.
Guest Speaker – clinical psychologist Jean Luyt. Adoptive mother and adoption specialist.
Book now by emailing

A great weekend

Posted by Terri Lailvaux on March 06, 2011
Category : Adoption

Cape Town is hot and sunny and wind free!! I have the house all to myself this weekend and I am loving it. I am about to take the dog for a walk up the mountain! Happy Happy days.

Group Adoption Discussion

Posted by Terri Lailvaux on March 04, 2011
Category : Adoption

Title: Group Adoption Discussion
Location: Kenilworth
Description: Group discussion for pre and post adoptive adults. We discuss any matters that arise. Includes tea / coffee /muffins & info pack. Please book in advance as space is limited.
Start Time: 09:30
Date: 2011-03-05
End Time: 12:20

Adoption Questions with so many answers

Posted by Terri Lailvaux on February 26, 2011
Category : Adoption

Today, I would like to share with you some of the adoption questions I regularly get asked:

  • My child is 3 now, how should I tell him/hers/ about the adoption?
  • When is a good time to start telling my child s/he is adopted?
  • We are a gay couple, who will help us to adopt?
  • I am a single person.  Will I be elegible to adopt on my own?
  • I only want a white baby.  Is there any chance of this in South Africa?
  • What rights does the birth mom have after the adoption is done?
  • Will I be able to love a child that I haven’t given birth to?
  • What’s best…private adoption or child welfare?
  • I am over 38 years.  Can I adopt?
  • How old will my baby be when I get him / her?

Depending on who you talk to, the answers to these questions can differ quite substantially.  My message….if you are out there and you want to adopt, keep asking and asking until you get the answer you are happy with.

On another note, a HUGE HUGE thank you to Kirsten Felbert who has designed my logo…see below and is busy re-illustrating my book.
She is a very talented, special lady!  Thanks Kirsten!!

Hello all you beautiful people out there.  Please like the adoptmom Facebook page (South African adoption page)and then join the discussions.
I would love to have your comments….I am researching 2 new books at the moment.
All Blog comments and Facebook comments are welcome.


To judge or not to judge

Posted by Terri Lailvaux on February 20, 2011
Category : Adoption
After the article was published last week in the Tygerberger, I was inundated with emails from people.  One thing struck me……so many people think they are at liberty to judge others!
I have heard from gay couples, single women, women of 45 years and more.  All have a common thread.  They are being judged and told that they are not candidates for adoption.
I also had a comment from someone saying that it is not right to raise a child that is not genetically yours and that different cultures / colours / genes / religions etc cannot be made to be together – it is not meant to be like this.
Interestingly, I remember when I was undergoing fertility treatment and then later applying for a coloured adopted child, I had a number of people telling me that I should not be doing that.  Religious people said that IVF was messing with God’s plan.  Right wing people said that mixing colours could never work.
I am getting to a point here.  One thing seems to be common amongst the judgers………they all have biological children!  Lucky, lucky them.  How nice to produce children naturally in the sanctity of a happy marriage and then sit back and berate others who are not as lucky and are doing whatever they can to fill a deep deep void.
Come on guys….It’s not like people choose this path.  It’s the only hope we have left of knowing the greatness of parenting.  How about some support instead?


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